A Flavorful Conversation

I had just finished my morning yoga and was sipping on a good cup of  dark Arabica coffee when he appeared like a vision of  true Caribbean perfection with the sun sparkling off his "still wet from his morning swim" body. He took a seat next to mine and looked at the breakfast menu. He glanced my way and with a beaming smile he asked me what my flavor was. "Coffee or other?" I replied. Intrigued by my shameless flirtations he started with his own.

Shared article by Brooke Sager

I seldom share articles on my blog, But this one just can't be withheld from the greater public.
I'm only sharing the intro here and leave the link at the bottom. Happy reading
Conny

30 Women on the Most Hilariously Bad Things Guys Have Said During Sex

By Brooke Sager

@HIHEELZbrooke

When the mood strikes, the lighting is set, your “downstairs” is groomed, and your mattress mate is someone you love (or at least love to see naked), sex can be quite the pleasurable experience (to say the very, very least).

But there are also those times when sex is... not so sexy. You know, like when your partner’s idea of “using his mouth” involves making mid-coitus cat noises. Saucy bedroom-speak is an art form -- and when his version of that involves bad puns or referring to your lady parts as a starchy vegetable, the only big “O” happening tonight will be you saying, “‘O’ my God, how quickly can an Uber get me out of here?”

Here, 30 women of all ages share horrific IRL sexytime buzzkills of the verbal nature that have left their nether regions still recoiling -- in some cases, decades later. 

https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/nation/hilariously-bad-dirty-talk-examples-to-avoid-during-sex

 

Big sis to the rescue

Having a younger brothers or sister can be a challenge sometimes. We all love our siblings, but they always seem to get into some kind of trouble. And then it’s big sis to the rescue.
My friend who is a make-up artist has one of those younger brothers. He is tall, smart and too good looking for his own health. Here is her story.
My brother is blessed with a nice body, good looks and a nice personality. Too nice sometimes, since he can’t say no to the ladies. I have no idea how his wife never finds out about his adventures, although I cover up for him quite a lot.
One day as I was cooking, cleaning the house and busy with my 2 year old. I heard text messages coming in, but my hands were full, so I decided to check them later. Then my cell phone rang, again unable to pick up at that moment, I let it ring out. When my home phone started making racket, I knew there had to be some kind of emergency. With my son dragging on my left foot and my hands soapy form the dishes I ran to pick it up. “Hey sis, OMG I thought I would never reach you. I need your help ASAP. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” There were a million things going on in my mind at that time. What had happened to him, did someone have an accident? Ten minutes never seemed that long. He pulled up in front of the house and I ran out only to see a healthy young man with a shameful grin on his face. That moment I knew he’d gotten himself into some kind of trouble with a woman. I had seen that grin enough times to recognize it. He walked up to me, gave me a hug and then I saw the problem. On his neck was the biggest and reddest hickey I had ever seen in my entire life.  Instinctively I tried to wipe it off and then we both burst into laughter. You know the kind where tears start streaming down your cheeks and you have to sit down on the ground to catch your breath. It was during office hours, so the next thing I did was slap him at the back of his head and asked him what he was thinking. Apparently he had some fun with a side piece and she decided to leave her mark. We went inside sat him on a stool and went to get my supplies. I covered up his big little mistake up with foundation, contoured his neck and sprayed it all shut so it wouldn’t rub off on the collar of his shirt. He gave his big sis a hug and a kiss and off he went. As he drove away I saw the girl he was with sitting in the backseat of his car. The girl had been there all the time in that hot car, and he never told me. Later that week his wife called to tell me that she had never seen her husband in such a good mood like on that beautiful Thursday. He brought home flowers, took her out for dinner. He let her go to bed early, let her sleep in and was out before she got up. He later told me that his friends gave him tips on how to make that mark go away fast and I gave him a tip on not to get any on his neck in the first place.

Side chick rules

Some women never learn. I know it’s a cliché statement, but there is truth in these words.
Having been on both sides of the relationship fence, both main chick and side chick, I kind of know how the waves rock the boat. I am not very proud to say that I have been more on the second side than the first, but hey if life throws you lemons, look for the tequila.  I claim to be somewhat of an expert by experience in this field and therefore feel free to give some advice to the young and less experienced side chicks out there.

1
Understand that you are a side chick. Girls listen; if you know that the guy has a wife or girlfriend and you are merely a form of entertainment, please act the part. There is nothing more annoying than a side chick playing wifey.

2
You are not a priority. The man has a wife/girlfriend with one or more kids, they are important. You are only important at certain times when your services are needed.
3
Never ever say something negative about his wife. It is his job to complain about his wife or girlfriend at home. You don’t know her and therefore are not entitled to an opinion.
4
Don’t be a headache. He has a wife at home to make his life miserable. You are here to make it a little bit easier. So don’t complain about petty things like not getting enough attention.
5
Don’t ask him to leave his wife for you. That would make you the main chick and he will be out looking for a new side chick before you know it
6
Don’t call his house. You simply have no business doing that
7
Don’t call his wife to rub it in her face that you are sleeping with her man. She probably already knows that and tolerates your existence.
8
If you are his ex-girlfriend who he is still keeping around as a bedroom accessory, you have no business still being close with his mom and the rest of the family. Honey just so you know, they are all talking and laughing behind your back.
 9
Know your place before someone puts you in it. You have no business telling everyone about your relationship with the guy. There is a reason you are not the main chick and your relationship is a secret.
10
Don’t fall in love with him. Because he will never fall in love with you. He has already fallen in love once with his wife.
11
Take care of yourself. Side chicks are disposable and easily replaced. The moment he sees a hotter number, he will forget all about you.Be sure to have a bank account with enough money to to support yourself
12
You have to stay beautiful and perfectly pretty all the time. He comes over to your place to find a sexy piece of ass. If he wanted to look at sweatpants and curlers, he could have stayed home with his wife
13
Don't become friends with his wife/girlfriend. That is just nasty.
14
Don't become jealous. You are not his wife/girlfriend. Don't be a side chick catching main chick feelings.
15
Do not ever leave any hickeys and bite marks on his body for anyone (read his wife) to see. It's unnecessary and trashy. What are you trying to prove?

Now that's awkward ...

When it comes to awkward situations, I seem to attract them like honey attracts bees. I don’t know whether to call it misfortune or a blessing, but these situations always turn into good stories I can share with my readers.