Now that's awkward ...

When it comes to awkward situations, I seem to attract them like honey attracts bees. I don’t know whether to call it misfortune or a blessing, but these situations always turn into good stories I can share with my readers.

I have a very social life. I go out with friends, attend charity functions and like to meet new people. Also it seldom happens that I don’t like a person or that I “break up” with friends. Same goes for ex boyfriends or guys I used to date. We might not be besties after our affair, but I mostly stay friendly with them. Except in one case. Kenny was my boyfriend when I was 16, he was older and the kind my parents would never allow me to date. My parents were very conservative when it came to me and my sister dating. One thing my father could never like was a guy with tattoos, and this guy had quite a few. But stubborn teen me dated him despite my dad’s aversions. It didn’t last long though, he wasn’t the “ONE”, but he and I stayed friends. Over the years we’ve both been in other relationships, the one more serious than the other, but we always stayed in touch. I get invited to important events in his family like weddings and business openings, and he is my wing man when I need a +1 for an event.  When we need moral support or just someone to talk to, we are always there for the other. We’ve never felt awkward or thought anything of it other than the fact that we are just good friends. Until last week …
It was a beautiful Saturday night and I had planned to spend it at home, on the couch with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. My phone rang and I knew my plans were about to change. My niece wanted to go to a party, but her mom couldn’t bring her, so I agreed to take her. At the same time Kenny texted me and asked what I was doing. I didn’t want to spend my Saturday with a bunch of tweens at a birthday party, so I decided to drop my niece off, go have a few drinks with Kenny and his cousins and pick her up later. After a couple of beers one cousin turned to us and said “OK since no one wants to pin the tail on the donkey, I will do it. When are the two of you finally going to tie the knot and reproduce? It’s been almost 15 years and you guys don’t even live together yet.” I choked on a chicken wing, knocked over my beer and stared at everyone who was staring back at me. I felt awkward because of 2 reasons. We had broken up about 14 years ago and Kenny was in a relationship with someone for almost a year. I turned to him only to find him snickering behind his glass if Jack Daniels. It seems that Kenny never told his cousins that we had broken up. That would explain why I always got invited to family functions and why they were all still treating me like a member of the gang. I the past 14 years Kenny also never introduced him to his other girlfriends or the one he was currently in a relationship with. I didn’t know whether to feel offended or flattered so I stood up, asked for everyone’s attention and said: “I would like to clear up something here. For those of you who didn’t get the memo, Kenny and I broke up about 14 years ago. So there won’t be any wedding bells or babies, except if he proposes to his new girlfriend or his swimmers finally decide to work.” I was so embarrassed at the whole situation. How do you not tell your family something like this? I excused myself and left, because I the air reeked of awkwardness an I was too embarrassed to look anyone in the eye.
I’ve learned a lesson there and then. You can always remain friends with an ex, but you have to keep your distance. If not to spare your heart, which wasn’t the case here, because we were clearly over (or so I thought), but to spare yourself from awkward and embarrassing situations like this one.

Note: The names in this story have been changed to protect the privacy of the subject