We were introduced at a party which we both attended with a group of mutual friends. After that day we kind of lost contact until about 2 years ago, where we met yet again at a party, with some of the same friends. After that party we stayed in touch. I knew from our first meeting that he had a girlfriend, so I kept my distance, but when he started posting sad songs about being heartbroken and that love was bad on his social media page somewhere around valentine's day, a holiday I simply loath, because for some reason I'm always recently single around that time, I assumed he was no longer involved with the lady. Contact became more frequent, almost daily, and I really started to feel for him again. We didn't have a lot in common, we liked different styles of music, he was a devoted christian, where I am always hanging between beliefs. We did have 2 things in common ... coffee and M&M's. We decided to go to a movie one night. I had already seen it, but didn't mind going again. If there is one thing I hate, it's when people are later for appointments, and worst when they are late for the movies. I usually either leave or go in without the person, but for some reason i waited patiently for my guy to come. When he arrived I went straight up to the movie. We took our seats just as the movie started. I'm not easily impressed and I don't go all jellybeans when a guy does something cute, but when he shared his iced coffee, 2 straws... one cup, and M&M's with me, I knew he liked me too. Let's be honest here ... a coffee-holic doesn't just share his coffee with anyone, except if he really likes that person. After the movie we talked for hours, we went home and texted for hours. All that time that we knew each other, we never knew we lived in the same neighborhood, our families were acquainted and had so many mutual friends. I started to fall in love, something that doesn't happen much. I usually just have crushes on guys, that last a week or 2, until I get bored and move on to the next shiny object. But for some reason this gem didn't seem to stop shining. People who know me well, know how crazy I can get when I like a guy. I spoil him rotten, I cook and bake whatever he likes. Some like it, others don't ... he did.
We didn't see each other much, but had daily contact. He admitted he liked me too, but that we had to talk face2face. I hate it when guys do that, It's never a good thing. So I almost begged him to just tell me through the phone what was up, he said I didn't have to worry, that it wasn't anything bad, but that he simply couldn't just say certain things through the phone. I couldn't sleep that night, was all jumpy at work the next day ... the suspense was killing me. That evening he came over, we talked again about everything except the one thing he came to talk about. At last I couldn't take it anymore and just kissed him. A kiss was sure to bring the words out and I was right. But they were not the words I wanted to hear. He looked me in the eyes and started his speech: "I'm sorry if I led you on, but I have to be honest with you. I'm married ... with children. I like you, but I love my wife and kids." I was shocked, speechless and hurt. How? Why? How could I let this happen to myself? What was all that heartbreak stuff about?I guess these questions will remain unanswered forever. I was angry, hurt, felt stupid and almost hated him for this for a few days.
After I had cooled off, we talked about it, had a good laugh about me jumping to conclusions way too fast. He is a nice guy who just got charmed away by my spoiling I guess. People may call me crazy for just letting things go like this, but I will not let a good friendship go to waste simply because I got the wrong impression about his feelings. He is one of my best friends now and every once in a while still go out for Iced coffee and M&M's ... 2 cups ... each our own chocolate.
No comments:
Post a Comment